The House with a Clock in Its Walls

Released: 2018

Director: Eli Roth

Cast: Jack Black, Cate Blanchett, Kyle MacLauchlin

Who doesn’t love magic? The House with a Clock in Its Walls is based on the 1973 novel of the same name by John Bellairs. The film follows Lewis, a young boy who receives a letter from his maternal uncle after his parents die. He goes off to live with his uncle in a mysterious house with, you guessed it, many many clocks. Why? Well, you find out during the film why there are so many clocks all set at different times.

Let me just start by saying that Eric Kripke wrote the screenplay and anyone who is a Supernatural fan, knows what this means. Easter eggs. From flannel plaid to a patch on Lewis’ backpack with an S and D on it, there are a few that will satisfy the diehard fan. As for the film, it was awesome.

Jack Black plays Jonathan Branavelt, a warlock who is hiding a secret. Trying to stop a clock in the walls of his house left behind by someone he once considered a friend. That friend once thought to be dead is now back and as powerful as ever with the plan to make everyone disappear. With the help of his nephew Lewis and a witch named Florence Zimmerman, Jonathan must stop evil warlock Issac Izard before it’s too late.

Will they be successful? Will Issac take over the world and make humanity disappear? Some may see this film as corny and one of Eli Roth’s more childish of films, probably the only one. With a cast of Jack Black, it was sure to be a hit.

8.5/10 stars!

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Released: 2017

Director: Martin McDonagh

Cast: Frances McDormand, Woody Harrelson, Sam Rockwell, Caleb Landy Jones, Peter Dinklage

Hey, guys, I’m back with a review. I know it’s been a while. School and all that jazz. But here goes nothing.

Three billboards are set up outside Ebbing, Missouri. A place that suffered a tragedy. A distraught mother lost her daughter and when the police failed to come up with answers, Mildred Hayes (McDormand) takes it upon herself to let the whole town and any passersby know it. She buys them for the year and taunts the police department for answers into her daughters’ murder.

This film…I honestly don’t know where to begin. I was a little skeptical going into this film because I didn’t want to like it. Strange, right? However, the writing and the acting alone made this film what it was; a classic. The sheer emotion and determination that Frances McDormand harnessed for this character and the raw pain you could see just by looking at her made her deserve the award.

Great character development by Sam Rockwell, too. Although when he first appeared I shouted “MAGROTHEA!” that sent my dad into a laughing fit. He’ll always be Zaphod for me. But that’s beside the point. This man was able to take a hated man and make something flourish out of it.

Kudos. I really liked this film and even though the ending may be dissatisfying for some, I enjoyed it a lot. It was like real life, unexplained, unfinished. Cold cases that sit there for years and are never solved. I’m glad it didn’t win best picture but the cast deserved it for their roles.

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

Released: 2018

Director: J. A. Bayona

Cast: Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas Howard, Daniella Pineda.

DINOSAURS! Life finds a way! I grew up loving Jurassic Park, from the film to the novel. Though, having been directed by Steven Speilberg it was completely different than the novel as his other adaptations are. As though the man can’t come up with his own material. But that’s not what this post is about, no. It’s about DINOSAURS.

Claire and Owen are back in this one to save the animals from Isla Nublar which is being engulfed by the erupted volcano. It’s been a few years since we were last on the land of yet another failed park, Jurassic World. And we even hear from the mouth of Ian Malcolm that nature should take its course.

Well, I say fuck you, Ian. Henry Wu, our villain from the last film has returned to sell whatever animals were saved to the highest bidders. And we see yet another hybrid creation more distrustful and dangerous than the Indominous Rex. And yes, the dinosaurs haven’t been updated with feathers like scientists have discovered but this isn’t a factual film. I’m sure if Michael Crichton was alive, he’d make an updated novel with the information out there.

Nor can one create such hybrids as these. Though mashing it enough times could have a plausible outcome. It’s a world of fiction. Science Fiction to science fact.

All I can say is TOBY JONES AND JAMES CROMWELL!

And blue!

As a lover of biology and genetics and a huge fan of dinosaurs even at 25, this was a great sequel to the 2015 film and I cannot wait for the last installment to the Jurassic World series.

8.5/10

Table 19

Released: 2017

Director: Jeffrey Blitz

Cast: Anna Kendrick, Craig Robinson, Lisa Kudrow, Wyatt Russell

Weddings. Who doesn’t love weddings? Unless you’re the leftovers that get put at table 19. The film follows a group of strangers, a nanny, a long time friend, a rocky couple, a virgin, and a criminal. A dysfunctional group is placed at a table that shouldn’t have RSVP’d.

Eloise (Kendrick) gets invited to her long-time friend’s Francie’s wedding. One where she was originally to be the maid of honor of. The only catch is her best friend’s brother Teddy (Russell) is her ex-boyfriend.

Jerry (Robinson) and Bina (Kudrow) Kepp are owners of a diner who seem to have a bit of a rocky relationship when they arrive at the reception hall.

Jo was the former nanny of Teddy and Francie who did her best to take care of the children while thinking Teddy was rotten.

Walter is a convicted felon.

Renzo is a young man whose mom is trying to help get him laid/find him a girlfriend.

After wondering why they were placed at table 19 together out of the way, Eloise explains the rundown of the seating charts that she created before being dumped by her boyfriend and dropping out as maid of honor for Francie’s wedding. The gang starts thinking they shouldn’t even be there until they realize the importance of the table doesn’t matter as much as helping Eloise try to get back or get even with Teddy.

I enjoyed this film quite a lot. It’s one of the better drama’s that I actually thought was better than pure comedy. The relationship between Jerry and Bina was so raw and real and the pain that Eloise and Teddy exhibited was both heartbreaking and yet heartwarming. I wanted to jump through the screen and hug every single one of the tablemates.

And come on, the cast was is just golden.

Bedeviled

Released: 2016

Director: The Vang Brothers

Cast: Saxon Sharbino, Victory Van Tuyl, Brandon Soo Hoo, Bonnie Morgan.

After the death of their friend, a group of teens starts receiving an app invite from her phone. Similar to Siri, Mr. Bedevil is an A.I app set to help with their needs like a companion as well as have the ability to turn off lights, start the smart car, etc.

But the app isn’t what it appears to be. It gets more personal than either one of them can handle. Cody has a fear of cops and white people, his fears start to manifest in the reality. Alice is afraid of her grandmother who is now deceased; she see’s her grandmother who tries to kill her. As the days go by, Mr. Bedevil gets stranger and stranger. Friends start to turn on one another after they experience their fears coming to life. Even the skeptical Dan and Haley.

Cody tries to hack into the server to kill it but with Mr. Bedevil changing the keys, it’s a race against the clock to stop this entity before it’s too late.

It has the same feel as One Missed Call for me but it’s more updated for today. Isn’t that scary though, how we depend so much on our phones and technology that we don’t pay attention to what we download? Who knows what could be out there or what sort of intelligence artificial things can develop. Time to go old school with tech! tape recorders, rotary phones.

The acting could have been a little more authentic but all in all, it’s not a bad chiller. Also what kind of jobs do their parents even do to have such amazing large houses? And where the hell are their parents? So many questions.
A b-rated horror film for me. The story was done really well, too. I found it to have a satisfying ending that left me wanting more.

7/10

Jaws

Released: 1975

Director: Steven Spielberg

Cast: Roy Scheider, Richard Dreyfuss, Robert Shaw, Lorraine Gary

Da Dum. Da Dum.

Amity Island used to be safe…until now. The remains of a woman washed up on shore and quickly forces the chief to close the beaches. However, the mayor overrules him on that. That is until another more public attack happens on the beach. With the help of oceanographer Matt Hooper (Dreyfuss), and shark hunter Quint (Shaw), chief Martin Brody (Scheider) goes hunting for the killer beast beneath the sea.

I absolutely love sharks, I always have. But the water is their territory. You take that chance every time you get into the water with these magnificent beasts. The more people learned about them, the better they could be to defend themselves when necessary or just share the water peacefully. They are very intelligent creatures, too. Never underestimate any species of them. Unless it’s a whale shark, then you’re fine.

I loved Hooper and Quint so much. The dedication they had to their work and the arguing book knowledge vs experience. You put those two together and you get a hell of a team.

If Jaws was remade today, the only thing I would like is more realistic looking sharks. For the 70s it wasn’t bad but for now what they could do with today’s technology the tiger and great white would look amazing. The shark moved a little too slow for my liking. As a film, it was decent enough.

4/10

Gerald’s Game

Released: 2017

Director: Mike Flanagan

Cast: Bruce Greenwood, Carla Gugino

Based on the novel of the same name by Stephen King

Jessie (Gugino) and her husband Gerald (Greenwood) travel to an isolated house to try to work on their marriage. Gerald has a BDSM kink. Trying to make it work, Jessie gives her husband what he wants and decides to do a scene with him. But at his age, Gerald takes a little blue pill to help him along.

Everything is fine until he has a heart attack while Jessie is handcuffed to the bed frame.

Jessie begins to hallucinate with dehydration and starvation, reliving some old memories and seeing things making her wonder what’s real and what’s still in her head. There’s a man stalking her with a bag of bones. (Reference to Bag of Bones, another novel by Stephen King.)

That is a petrifying thought to be in the middle of nowhere with no one around and stuck. You definitely need a firm stomach to watch this film. It’s very graphic and gruesome. Being a King lover I’m not sure whether I liked this or not. It was beautifully crafted and I think Mike Flanagan captured the essence of fear in isolation and Jessie’s past.

Isolation, hallucination, desperation, fear. And definitely anxiety. This is not for the faint-hearted. But it’s a great film for those who want their skin to crawl or goosebumps. Even to have their anxiety spike at the very thought of being alone with no one around.

8/10

Life of the Party

Released: 2018

Director: Ben Falcone

Cast: Melissa McCarthy, Maya Rudolph, Gillian Jacobs, Luke Benward

Before I go into this film, I have to say this. I absolutely love Melissa McCarthy. I grew up with her as Sookie St. James on Gilmore Girls and Ben Falcone is a creative man with a great sense of humor. He’s up there with Judd Apatow for me. And the fact that he makes films that his wife stars in is the goal right there.

After dropping her daughter off for her final year at college, Deanna’s (McCarthy) life is turned upside down when her husband tells her he wants a divorce. She had put her life on hold when she had her daughter and had to drop out of finishing her last year at college. But now Deanna is determined to get her life back on track and take matters into her own hand.

Her daughter, however, is not so keen on sharing the campus with her mother. Everything goes slightly smooth as Deanna works through her divorce until the usual school ignorant mean girl decides to judge mother and daughter. After making some friends, she starts to realize how she needs to let go and learn to have fun again.

I think this is one of my more favorite roles for Melissa because it’s not just pure comedy. There’s quite a bit of real drama in it. And Christina Aguilera. Also, it’s really important to do what you can to get an education. No matter what age you are, you can always go back and learn more. I myself am 25 and about to start college for the first time.

8/10

Goodbye Christopher Robin

Released: 2017

Director: Simon Curtis

Cast: Margot Robbie, Domhnall Gleeson, Kelly Macdonald

Everyone remembers Winnie the Pooh. Whether you liked it or not, it was and still is around. This film focuses on A. A. Milne (Gleeson) the writer who created Winnie the Pooh. After WWI, Alan suffers from shellshock or as we now term it PTSD. He struggles with it as he tries to figure out his next piece of work.

After the birth of his son Christopher Robin, Alan and his family move to the countryside hoping for inspiration to write.

One day with his son he starts to have imagination for him. They start to name the stuffed animals that his son has. Winnie for the bear, tigger for the tiger.

Alan brings the animals to life in a way only the most imaginative can do and its breathtaking. Enjoying time with his son, he finally brings Christopher’s stuffed animals to life through literature.

There are a few parallels to Finding Neverland that I enjoyed. I felt sad for young Christopher aka Billy Moon and the way he was treated once the books became big. And its yet another role I dislike Margot Robbie in. Insensitive character. But thank God she didn’t have that terrible nasally Brooklyn accent. I don’t care much for her acting. But I sympathized with Olive the nanny (Macdonald).

Through the film, Alan realizes the toll it took on his son and how it followed him in his life.

7/10

The Purge

Released: 2013

Director: James DeMonaco

Cast: Lena Heady, Ethan Hawke, Adelaide Kane, Edwin Hodge.

In 2022, the annual purge is about to commence. James Sandin (Hawke) and his family are safe and warm behind their security system. That’s the thing about security systems. They only work if you actually keep the activated. During the Purge, once a year for 12 hours, all crime is legal. Everything including murder. Those who don’t want to be involved can hide away behind tight security. James’ son Charlie brings up a valid question to his parents. Why don’t they take part in the purge instead of hiding? As much as I hate the phrase white privilege…if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck..

The Purge was created by the New Founding Fathers of America or NFFA who overthrew the government and took control. This is some scary possible dystopian shit. Especially with the state of the country right now. I don’t condone this regardless of how successful it is. It’s ridiculous. On one hand, look at the good it does. No violence during the year save for 12 hours on a particular day. They claim it works.

Man, what is it about neighbors in these horror films? And also, kids should never have any sort of code. Once you turn 18, fine you can do whatever you want but until then, NO CODES.

This film angers me so much. I absolutely love every single cast member but these characters piss me off. The film also feels a but empty for me. I know there are a few sequels and a prequel out now so I’m hoping they have some substance to them more than this.

6/10

It was a good idea but I’m not huge on the simple execution. Hopefully that will change in the other films.